“You need to leave, now,” he said, as he slips a piece of paper in my hand, he shakes his head and tells me to go.
I want to read the scrap of paper, and do so once I am safely inside my car. Those words made my heart race. He wanted to meet in an hour, in our spot, the place that we always met at, when we were in love.
I drove to the nearest car park, locked the car and crossed the street to the café. Ordered a medium latte, added a sugar, stirred it and took a sip. The café was full and I had no choice but to take the coffee to go.
Outside I walked to the edge of the road, located a vacant seat on a bench and drank the coffee while I waited to meet Vinnie. I had half an hour to wait. It only takes five minutes to reach the meeting spot, and I planned to be on time, if not early.
Arriving, I sat where we always used to sit. The moment I was there, memories came flooding back. First memories of his lips on mine, his hands exploring my body, at least in the early days, we were young, he was my first everything. We had taken it slowly. I wanted him to love me for ever. At least that it is what I thought would happen. He showed me the kind of love that a young girl only dreamed off.
We spent many hours here in the beginning of our relationship, kissing and falling in love.
I titled my head, and just as I recalled the touch of his lips one last time did he appear. I had to push those feelings aside, remembering the feelings of him leaving me, and then him stood with his arms around my sister.
He starts by saying he loves my Amy.
“I don’t want to talk about you and Amy, what I want to talk about has nothing to do with her.”
“But it does, what you are saying effects all of us. I never meant to hurt you, and if I had known she was your sister…”
“You would not have dated her?”
“No, I wouldn’t have. How was I supposed to know and…”
“None of that matters. What we need to talk about is our daughter.”
“Are you sure she is mine?”
“I had to ask. You have to understand that. You need to know I am not the same guy you remember, the one that walked away.”
“Vinnie, you may not be the same guy, or like it, but she is your daughter. Nothing can change that.”
He sits beside me, and turns to face me, those dimples, that smile, those lips. I had to stop looking at him like I did all those years ago, but having him sat beside me, so close I could feel the warmth of his skin. I could smell the scent of his aftershave. I could tell he looked after himself. The closer he got, the hotter under the collar I got, and when he leaned in to kiss me, I almost allowed him to.
“No, you do not get to do that, you just said, and no. I will not do that to my sister. Changed, yeah right.”
“You still love me, don’t you?”
My heart yearned for him, but my head screamed no. I could not say it.
“I know you do.”
“That’s not fair Vinnie.” I said, standing, how dare he try and kiss me, what was he trying to do? I shook my head. “We are not here to talk about us, what was or could have been.”
“You’re right, I’m sorry, being here, seeing you again. I should have not suggested here, but…”
“Forget about it, what we need to do next Vinnie, because even though I know you are, your parents, my own sister, maybe even you don’t believe she is yours, so what you need to do is a DNA test. Prove to them what I already know.”
“I agree, we should, and I am sorry about them, my mother is upset, she thought I was finally settling down, and found a decent young pretty bride…and then this…”
“I messed that all up, well that is tough, I…”
“I know, my father wanted me to give you money to say it was not mine, even if it turned out it was.”
My mouth fell open. He wanted to buy me off. Silence me, because if it got out he walked out on us, it would not look good, no I could imagine the story they would tell, I knew would be I was a tramp who seduced him and got pregnant. Not telling him until now to get the money he now had. Because I could predict the future and knew his family were weatly, he had kept that from me all those years ago, I did not blame him, but now I wished he had taken on some of the repsonsiblity. Being young, single nad broke, was hard, but I did it. Having a little money from him, would have helped me out more. Even now it could, but I was not after his money, I wanted my daughter to have a father, she had a right to know him, even if that thought scared the hell out of me, what if….i could not even think it.
“How could he suggest that?”
“I know.” He pauses. “Do you remember how we used to come here all the time, in this exact spot? Make out for hours?”
“Of course I do, but…”
“That day you told me you were pregnant.”
Like I could forget, it was why I hated him, even if my heart and body was reacting to every word he said.
“I was a stupid scared kid, I did not want a child, hell I was a child myself, but telling you to get rid of her was wrong. I regret that, I do, and walking away from you, was immature of me, I…”
“You regret it?”
“Yes, but I can’t change that, when I told my parents because I needed to talk to someone, and I had hurt the person I loved. I knew I could not come back to you, you told me you hated me, and never ever come near you again.”
“I did say that, but I never meant it. I loved you.”
“I believed you, even if all I wanted to do was run back into your arms and tell you I loved you, and that we could work it out.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“My parents told me you had cheated on me and that child was most likely not mine anyway, I believed them. I could not take you back, you broke my heart.”
They told him I cheated, how dare they? I was angry, shaking from head to toe. I was fuming.
“A few weeks later, my parents sent me away for a few months, when I got back, and they told me that if I went back to you, they would cut me off.”
“Money, you stayed away because of money?”
“Yes, I know it sounds bad.”
“It was bad, okay, but how was I meant to take care of you, a baby I was not even sure was mine. I could barely take care of myself. What kind of father would have I been, not being able to support the child. Where would I have gotten any money to support us?”
“A job. Anyway, you know being a father is more than just what money you have in the bank.”
“I know that, now of course, back then I didn’t.”
“Do you believe me now, that she is yours, will it really take a DNA test, I will do one, but I know you are her father.”
“She does look like me a little doesn’t she?”
“Yes, she does. I know your family will not believe it until its in black and white. So will you do one?”
“Good. Now that is settled.”
“It is. What now?”
“I don’t know, I am still processing all this.” I paused. “I hated you for so long, but now, seeing you, here, how can you make me feel this way. I can’t attend the wedding I can’t do it. I can’t see you doing all the things you should be doing with me. Marrying my sister, you should have been marrying me. I thought before I fell pregnant that you were going to ask me.”
“Yes, I did,” I said, tears streaming down my face.
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