S.J.Hitchcock's Blog
  • Introduction
  • Blog
  • Book Reviews
  • Featured Authors
  • Links

In a heartbeat: Part 7 - Final part

10/17/2015

0 Comments

 
The days that passed did so at a snail pace. It did not seem real, any of it, I could not sleep, both attacks, and holding my daughter in my arms kept me awake. Ben did his best to comfort me, he lay beside me, holding me when I needed it, and keeping his distance when I could not allow him near me. What had almost tore us apart, brought us closer together.
As much as I wanted to get back to normality, my job no longer had the desire it did before. I could not go back that job, or see my friends with their babies. Not yet. Time would heal me, but I was not ready to see them, and they understood that. They rang, we talked, cried. 
 
It was days before we heard the news of Richard being sent to jail for twenty years, but would most likely only serve half of it. We knew he would, and more women came forward, another five, making it a total of eight. We were sure there was more out there, but he was locked up for his crimes now. I was safe, we were all safe. 

I now had one more thing to get through, and that was my daughter’s funeral. I was unable to deal with any of it, but Ben and his parents had. The day of the funeral the results arrived, but neither of us dare open it. Today it was not important, today was our chance to say goodbye to our daughter, we had named her Olivia, and dressed her in clothes that were brought by Ben’s parents brought her. 

We did not see her again, but had her name in flowers in the car with her. I did not want to wear black; we were not going to be sad, not anymore, after today we would move forward. I would never forget her, I had one picture of her. It was not the best image, but it was all I had. We had.
So many people turned up to say their goodbyes; we hugged, cried and watched her tiny coffin be laid to rest. It was a day that no mother should have to go through. We still had one thing to get through once we arrived home. The results. Who was Olivia’s biological father.

The envelope was in my hand, I could not open it, and handed it to Ben. He tore it open, with trembling fingers. He read the results, and the look on his face told me the news I had wanted. She was ours, not his, but he had taken her from us. He folded the letter away and held me close. Today was the end of that chapter in our life, tomorrow we started anew.
Tomorrow, everything would look different, at least that is all we could hope for. I was in love with Ben, and he loved me, we would get through each day one at a time.
​

New life, new job, and new family, I had so much to look forward to.
In a heartbeat
 © 2015
S.J.Hitchcock

0 Comments

In a heartbeat: Part 6

10/17/2015

0 Comments

 

Sitting Ben down, at his mothers, she had given us space, to tell him. He sat staring at me; I held his hands in my mine. I felt him tremble. I took a long deep breath, and just said it. I knew he understood what I was saying. As that was the same night that Richard raped me. I could not get that out of my head. I already loved this innocent life inside me. I had to believe that the baby was Ben’s. I could not allow myself to even think it wasn’t.

My first scan was coming up and I was nervous, but Ben had said he would come with me, and be there for me, he told me, he would take care of us, no matter what. I knew he was scared that this baby was not his. He had hugged me, and told me, he would love this baby no matter what.
The closeness of him felt good, but I did not want him to hold me close. Just the touch of his skin on mine, made my body react as if he had been the one to attack me. I did not mean to, I did not want to, but I could not help it. He had said we could take it slowly. I thanked him for that.
 
My case was due to come to court, and I had not heard whether Amy would come forward and admit he had done the same to her. I was unable to sleep, but then I got the news that she did that she actually did it, it was no longer one against just his side of events. Even though people at work still believed him, and we were lying, but as time went on, and I could not hide my pregnancy, they believed I was lying. Keeping his baby, but the truth was, I had no idea if this baby was Richards or Ben’s. I should not have to think about it, it should have been simple. Fall in love with the most wonderful man, settle down, and then maybe get married, but at least move in together, and then think about babies.

Instead, things were messed up. I was now five months pregnant, and living with Ben, but it was far from a happy experience. We bickered, that was my fault. I could not let him touch me; we may as well have been just friends, as after time he left me alone. We hardly spoke, and he was distant, again that was my fault.

My case against Richard was over, and even though she came forward, the case was dismissed. He won; I was devastated, unable to understand how he could get away with it. I had become good friends with Amy. She was there for me, she understood how I felt, how I could not cope with the news that he was back at work.

I arrived at the ward three days later, after he won and another lady approached me. She was young, pretty and pulled me to one side. She was scared, she was new, but even though Richard had not raped her, he had made inappropriate comments. She had heard about my case, and stayed clear, but it seemed he was determined to bed her. He followed her, she said, and she had seen him outside her house. She had called the police, she wanted my help. I wanted to send him down, he was a monster.

“If he did this to me, and Amy, and now you, do you think there are more out there?”

She nodded; I could see how scared she was. I felt her pain and hugged her tight, told her we would meet up with Amy, now there were three of us.

We would stand strong, united.
 

I arrived home, Ben was not there, and the place was quiet. I called out to Jessie, she tottered through and rubbed her head against my feet. I then heard it, loud banging on the door.

I placed my hand on the door, ready to open it, but then it occurred to me, who was it at the door. I had already half opened the door, when it was pushed open, and I was thrown to the floor, he was there, stood staring down at me. He was leering, angry. His face close to mine, his hands around my neck.

“This is all you fault,” he said, squeezing tighter.

What was he talking about, I wanted to ask, but no words escaped from my lips, this was it, my life was about to end, as my life was drained from my body. He was pushing harder, and I could not move, my baby was all I could think about, as the world turned black.
 
 I had not expected to wake up, at least not in this world. I feared that I was dead. I could live my life in this new world me and my baby, but when I looked down, once I opened my eyes and saw that my bump was gone. Had I dreamt the whole thing, was I even pregnant.

“She’s awake,” I heard a voice I knew well, it was Natalie. She took my hand, and then I saw they were all there. All my friends, and Amy too, and Ben. He was crying.

“What happened?” I asked, fearing the worst, the words were hard to say, my throat was sore, my mouth dry. I then recalled the attack. “where is my baby?”

“I’m sorry,” Ben said, sitting beside me, taking my hand.

“No, you’re lying.”

“I’m so sorry, Julie, but she didn’t make it.”

“I want to see her. I want to hold her.”

“We can do that, when you are ready.”

Ready, when I was ready, I was meant to be a mother to a baby girl, no matter who had fathered her. But instead I was about to see her, my daughter.

They brought her through wrapped in a pink blanket. The midwife, my friend Kerry, she had tears in her eyes. She laid her in my arms, and told me she was so sorry.

She was perfect, tiny, but perfect, a mop of brown hair, she had all ten fingers and ten toes. I removed her from the blanket, and laid on her bare skin. I knew it was not possible to bring her back, but I wanted to hold her, to feel her close to me. I knew what had happened, I knew it in my heart. Richard, he had killed her, starving her tiny little body of oxygen.

They had left me alone, but I asked Ben to stay, to sit with us. I wanted to know, whose she was, who was her father?

“I know this is hard to hear, and I should have asked first, but I had a DNA test done on her. I need to know if she was mine. Or his.”

I nodded, understanding, I wanted to know the truth too. I took his hand in mine, and said I was so sorry for the way I had been, but I was scared, scared of being touched.

“I know, but we can make it, I love you, Julie. From the moment we met, I knew you were the one. I want to support you, be there for you, one day marry you. I will wait for you to be ready. I will be love you for the rest of our lives. I know that this is not something you want to hear either, but we can have more children in the future. She will never be forgotten, she will always be our first daughter, no matter who her biological father is. I love her as much as I love you.”

I swallowed, and realised he was hurting as much as I was. The scar of the c-section would heal in time, but the pain seeing my baby dead in my arms would take the longest time to heal. I wanted to hold her longer, never let her go, but I had to let her go. Let her rest in peace.
​

So much more needed to be organised. A funeral, such a tiny box, for a tiny body. I did not want to do it, Ben said he would organise it all, his parents wanted to help. His mother had been there for us too, she was an amazing lady and I loved her like a mother, she had held me tight and told me all would be okay. It may not feel like the right thing now, but if that baby had been Richards, it was for the best. She told me to think of it like that, don’t think it was Ben’s, because that would break her heart, as it would mine.
In a heartbeat
 © 2015
S.J.Hitchcock

0 Comments

In a heartbeat: Part 5

10/15/2015

0 Comments

 

​His hands were all over me, touching me, kissing me, I did all I could to push him off, but he was stronger than I was. The word ‘no’ stuck in my throat, as he pushed me into the living room, and continued his attack.
I closed my eyes, doing my best to block it all out. I lay crumbled on the floor, as he stood, done, and told me not to mention it to anyone, or next time it would be worse. I did not dare to open my eyes until I heard the door click shut. Even then, I did not move from the floor. I had laid there all night, not daring to move in case he did as he said he would, and come back. Every noise, made my heart race, my skin crawl. I stood, finally and checked the front door, and put the chain across. Not that it made me feel any safer.

I then climbed the stairs and took a long hot shower, as the first sprinkle of water hit my head, did the tears fall. I sat in the bath and cried until no more tears were possible to leave my body.  Scrubbing my body raw, did nothing to make me feel better. I know my friends would tell me to report this attack, but I was too scared to tell anyone, to ashamed.

I unplugged my phone, removed my battery from my phone, climbed into bed and hid beneath the covers.

I don’t know how long I was there, minutes, hours, days, but I refused to move from the cave I had hidden myself in. When I heard hammering on the door, I hid further in my cave. He was back, to do it again, or worse. What was worse, than violating me?

Then I heard his voice, calling I can only assume through the letterbox. I wanted to go down, let him in, tell him everything. We were only just starting a relationship, and now I was too scared to let it happen. To let my love for him show. I wanted him to go, leave me alone.

I closed my eyes, pulled the duvet over my head, and hid away from the sounds of his voice.

Until I felt a presence in the room, and then someone removed the duvet from me, I screamed, scared he was back, telling him no, not again.
“Julie, it’s me, Natalie…”

I opened my eyes, saw her face, she took one look at me and pulled me to her.

“What happened, Julie please tell me?”

I couldn’t speak, the words I wanted to say, were not leaving me, I could only cry. It was then I saw him, Ben in the doorway, tears in his own eyes. He knew something had happened, but not the what.

“Please tell me,” Natalie repeated.

I shook my head. “I can’t, he will come back.”

“Who, who will come back.”

I threw my hand over my mouth, I had said more than I meant, now I had begun, the words tumbled from my lips. The name of my attacker, the man who raped me.

“I’ll kill him,” Ben said, not sure whether to comfort me, or not.

“We need to call the police, Julie, he needs to pay for what he has done.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know hun, but it’s for the best, where are the clothes you were wearing.”

It was then I had to admit I was wearing so little, it was my fault.

“It is not your fault at all,” Ben began.

He held me, but I pushed him away, it was far too soon. I heard Natalie tell him, to give me time.

Everything that came next happened in a blur, the police, the invasive prodding, pictures and telling the same story over and over again. Days passed, sleeping did not come easy, I could not go back home. In fact, Ben insisted I stay at his place, which felt odd at first, since he lived at home with his parents. They were understanding and did not want me home alone either. Meeting them for the first time under these circumstances was not exactly how either of us would have planned it.

They insisted I stay for as long as I needed. I knew I never wanted to go back to that place again. I had not wanted to leave Jessie, but Ben went back every day to feed her. Work were good about it all, understanding, but I was worried, that they would believe his word over mine.

I had to go back, but when, when would I feel ready to go back to the same place he worked. I knew he was still there walking the halls like he owned the place and had done nothing wrong.

Ben’s mother sat me down one afternoon and told me we needed to talk. I felt shaky, she wanted me out of there. I had out stayed my welcome, waking up in the middle of the night screaming, must take its toll.

“Julie, don’t look worried, I am not kicking you out. I would never do that to you, I do have something we need to talk about.”

“We do?”

“Yes, it’s been two months since…and honey, there is something I think you need to think about.”

“I do?”

“Yes, I want to ask you something.”

“Okay.”

“When was your last period?”

I frowned at her, that was an odd question to ask me, why would she ask me such a thing. I had not even thought about it. I couldn’t recall the last time.

“You know why I am asking you, don’t you?”

I shook my head, no.

“I think you do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“I think you do, but I can understand why you wouldn’t want to.”

I shook my head again.

“I think you need to take a test, it could be stress of course, but I think you already know deep down, it’s not.”

“If and I mean it, if I am, I don’t want it.”

“I can understand that, but what if, and I mean it’s a possibility that if you are its Ben’s.”

“I don’t know if even that would make me keep it.”

“Julie, let’s worry about that once you take this test.”

“Test?”

She nodded, opening a cupboard beside her, she removed a box and handed it to me.

“You know what to do.”

I took the box, and thanked her, for everything. I really hoped that the test was negative. The next two minutes were the longest of my life, and waiting to look at the stick, my fear was there, in two pink lines. If I had not been raped the feeling I should be having was not of sadness, but of happiness.

The tears fell and I could not stop them, two taps on the door, alerted me, Ben’s mother was on the other side. She told me it would be okay, everything would be okay.

She knew, she knew I was.

“Come on out Julie, there is no need to hide away. Let’s take this one step at a time.”

I opened the door, and she held me as I continued to cry on her shoulder.
“Should we tell Ben together,” she said.

I did not want to tell anyone else. I told her to not say anything, I needed to go to work, see them first, talk to them about more time off. I was not ready to go back.

His mother said she would come with me, and I could not thank this woman who had taken me into her home and taken care of me. Having no mother of my own, she took on that role. She was an amazing lady, Ben and I were not even an actual couple, or were we. We cared deeply for one another, but I did not want him to feel that he had been stuck with me.

The corridors seemed longer as we walked down them; I felt eyes were on me, but not sure if they really were. Then I saw him, walking towards me, smiling. He was smiling at me, he had the nerve to smile at me. I wanted to go over there and wipe that smile off his face.

He moved towards me, closer, until he was in my personal space.

“You won’t get away with it, you know, Julie! I warned you,” he said, leaning in towards me.

“Get away from me,” I screamed.

“Is that him,” Ben’s mother asked, as she stood between us. “Get away, how dare you speak to her, you will pay for what you have done.”

“Done, I did nothing, she has been the one harassing me.”

“That’s a lie,” I said. Tears falling freely once again, it seemed all I did was cry.

“Don’t let him get to you, come on.”

I was glad his mother had come along, I was not strong enough to do this alone. The look on his face. He lied to my face, but tried to scare me, which he did, but now I was pregnant, something in that moment changed in me. I did not want to keep it if I could have guaranteed it was his, but she was right, it could also be Ben’s. I suddenly felt very protective of this baby growing inside me.

The door to the office of my boss was there before me, I knocked, and was soon asked to take a seat.

“Julie, are you ready to come back. Has this whole situation blown over?”

“Blown over, no, not until he has paid, been sent to jail for his crime.”

“Julie, are you sure you want to go down that road.”

“Yes, I won’t let him get away with it,” I said.

“Right, okay, we will back you all the way, I just needed to make sure you wanted to do this.”

“I do. He cannot get away with it.”

“No, you are right there. I want to let you know there are some that think he is innocent, and others of course that believe you.”

“And you, you don’t believe.”

“It’s not my place to say which one I am, I am your boss and will support you all the way. My opinion does not matter at all.”

“But it does, if you and others do not believe me, how am I going to get others to. I am and never have lied, not about something like this.”

“Can I be honest?”

“He came to see me, told me, you have been following him, trying to get him to go out with him. So this is why you made this lie up.”

“I see, and he sweet talked you, made you feel special. So it must be a lie.”

“I didn’t say that, but he looked me in the eye and told me, that he did not do it.”

“And I am doing the same, and telling you he did it. He did rape me, and I am not going to go away and hide, not any more.”

“Good for you,” I heard Ben’s mother say.

“Return to work when you are ready, but I also have to tell you, that you only have so much sick pay left.”

“I know, I just need a little more time.”

“Okay, I am just a phone call away.”

“Thank you.”
 
We left her office, and walked down the corridor, a woman passed us, looking directly at me, I frowned. That was odd, maybe she was one of the ladies who did not believe what had happened. I could only guess that the story of what had happened was all around the hospital.
It did not matter, not any more, I knew the truth and he would pay.
 
I returned to a week later, I needed to get back to some kind of normality. I had a lawyer and my case would be going to court. He wanted justice, as much as I did. He did not believe a word Richard said. I was worried about seeing him in the halls, but I had to go back, I needed to work. I had to find a new place to live, I had boxed up my place, and planned to sell it. I could never live there again.

Ben agreed, he wanted us to find a place together, but I was not sure about that, all I knew was, that I did not want to live on my own. I had no idea if we were a real couple. We had not really spoken about it, but I still had to tell him my other news. I did not want him to feel we had to be a couple because of it.

My first day back, I sat in my car, looking at the hospital, when I heard knocking on the window, for a moment I was frozen in fear. Until I looked to my left and saw a woman, she looked familiar. I rolled my window down. She lent down and asked if she could get in, there was something she needed to talk to me about.

“Get in,” I said.

She was trembling, and she started to talk, words tumbling from her lips. Her story so much like mine, it seemed I was not his first victim. She knew no one would have believed her, so she had kept quiet.

“Will you come forward?” I asked. “It will help my case.”

“I want to, but I am scared.”

“You’re scared.”

“Yes, I am.”

“Me too, but I won’t let him win.”

“No, me either, okay I will come forward. I wanted to come forward before, I saw you in the corridor, I wanted to tell you I knew the truth.”
​
“Thank you.”
In a heartbeat
 © 2015
S.J.Hitchcock

0 Comments

In a heartbeat: Part 4

10/14/2015

0 Comments

 
I scanned the beach, and there he was, standing there, and he was looking in our direction. This was not what I had expected on my day off. Had he followed me this morning, did he know where I lived? The whole thing made my body shiver, was he a stalker?

“Get me out of here!” I said. The day was ruined, how could he do this to me, was this the first time he had followed?

He took my hand and led me of the beach. I apologised for him.
“This is not your fault, he has a problem. Is this the first time he has followed you?”

“I don’t know, I really don’t know.”

“Should we call the police?”

“I don’t know, maybe we should just go.”

“Okay, let’s go, should we eat, or just go home?”

“He’s spoiled our day out, I was really enjoying it.”

“Me too, let’s not let him spoil we should pretend he isn’t here. Let’s go and get fish and chips, we cannot come here without having greasy fish and chips, and an ice-cream.”

“You are so right, we should. I haven’t had decent fish and chips in a long time.”

“Well, I know the perfect little place, we could have it out of a bag, which is the best way, or we could have it served up on a plate.”

“I have always had them in paper, and you can’t quite beat that, but I like the idea of eating it off a plate.”

“Good, happy to hear that, as the place I want to take you does both.”
It took ten minutes to walk there. I could not help but look behind me every few minutes. I could not see him; I felt my heart slow down and relaxed. The scent of the chips hit me as we entered. My mouth watered.

The place was full, except for one table, we sat down and I watched the door. He passed, realising there was no room for him to enter, and join us. Why wouldn’t he leave me alone, why had he followed us.

Ben stood, and marched towards the door. He was gone before I could say a word. The door swung open, and they were face to face, I could see them arguing. Richard pushed Ben, I didn’t want Ben to get hurt, not that I didn’t think he could stand up for himself. I knew everyone was watching, but I didn’t care. I pulled the door open.

“Stop it, Richard, leave me alone, just go, leave me alone.”

“I am not following you, I just told him the same, and I will tell you. I happen to be off today and enjoying a day out. Is that a crime.”

“Well no, but…”

“Good, you enjoy your day out and I will enjoy mine.”

“Ben, come on, let’s eat.” I said, trying to defuse the situation. I was starving and our food it seemed had arrived and was now on our table. As I turned to look in the café, I realised the staff were watching us, as were most of the other customers.

“Shows over,” I said as I marched back to my seat and picked up a fork and stabbed at a chip. They were still staring, but I did not care if they were all looking at us.

The date could have been a disaster, but we chose not to let it, and enjoyed the rest of the day. We entered one of the many attractions, played on the two pence machines, bowled. And last but least, we walked along the beach eating a whippy ice-cream. Then we waited for the train to take us home.

The ride was silent, but I did not mind that. I had checked the whole train for him, to make sure he was still not following us. He had said, he wasn’t, but I did not believe him, and nor did Ben.

The date was over, he kissed me good, a long hot kiss, and watched me climb into my car and drive away.
 
The house was quiet, my cat was nowhere to be seen. It was unlike her to not come out when I came in. I called out her name, but nothing. I was too tired to go looking for her. I opened my back door, and stepped out onto the patio. I did not like that she was not here, she was my companion. We often curled up on the sofa together.

I shuddered, cold and full of the enjoyment of the day, ignoring the fact that it was almost spoilt. I closed and locked the door.

Filled Jessie’s bowl with biscuits, and then made my way to my room. I planned to take a shower, and curl up on the sofa with a mug of tea.
 
The water was hot, as it trickled down my body. My head beneath the water, I heard a muffled sound. The cat flap maybe. That made me feel better, finally she was home. She did not often stay out, she was a home girl, and did not often stray far from the home. I switched the shower off, wrapped my body in a fluffy cream towel. Stepping onto the rug, I opened the door and walked down the hall to my room. My door was a jar and suddenly swung open, making me jump. My heart raced at the door swung back. I turned around and there stood Jessie, looking at me, and in her mouth a mouse. I prayed it was dead. The last time she brought in a live one I could not stay in the house, I had to call someone in to find it. Just that thought, made me shudder. She dropped it at my feet and jumped on my bed, curled up and closed her eyes.

“You scare me like that, and act like nothing has happened. Silly girl.”

I sat on the end of the bed, beside her and stroked her behind the ears. She looked up at me and then closed her eyes again.
 

The next morning, I woke up early, my last day off. I had plans to visit Natalie at ten, and spend an hour or two with her. Later I would food shop, and put a load of washing on. I would have an early night, there was no doubt about it, today was going to be a good day, and as the first text arrived from Ben, I had a smile on my face.

Ben: Good morning, just checking in, wondered if you fancied meeting for coffee at the hospital at 1pm on my lunch hour?

Me: I can do that.

Ben: perfect, see you then.

I was seeing him again, another date.

Natalie could not believe I was seeing him again, and no matter how much I was loving cuddling little Lewis, my mind was on Ben.

“Wow, I have never seen you so ga ga, over a guy.”

“I’m not ga ga.”

“You are, you checked your watch five times already.”

“I have?”

“Yes you have.”
I did not even notice that I had been doing that.

I left an hour later, giving me half an hour to get to the canteen. I arrived, parked my car and entered the hospital. The place was as usual packed, it was strange to see it empty, and rare. I passed the shop, and waved to the two ladies who worked in there. I stood by the entrance to the canteen, and felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned around to find Richard staring at me.

“I want to apologise about yesterday,” he said, his hand still on my shoulder. I nudged it free.

“Okay, it’s forgotten.” I stepped away and turned my back to him.
I hoped he would just leave, leave me alone and never talk to me again. I did not like him, he made me feel so uncomfortable.

“Julie, there you are,” Ben said approaching me.

“Here I am,” I said, throwing myself in his arms.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, is it wrong to have missed you already, I cannot believe I am saying this, but I really like you. A lot.”

“Good, because I like you a lot too.” He took my hand and led me to the queue for to buy coffees. “I only have an hour, but wondered if I could see you again tonight?”

“Sure, what would you like to do, we could catch a movie or..”

“We could, but I think I much prefer it if we were alone, no one else to spoil our night.”

“Ah, yes, okay, your place or mine?”

“I would say yours, mine, well…”

“Okay mine,” I said, as I sat at the table with my drink in hand.

“Good, I’ll bring the movie and goodies.”

“Are you sure?”
​
“Yes, I am sure.”
 
I could not wait until Ben arrived, I had not gone food shopping, and instead, I cleaned the house. Changed my bed sheets, not that I was expecting anything to happen. I wanted to be prepared.

He arrived on time, we sat on the sofa, silent for ten minutes, the movie still in the box. He placed his hand on my knee, and that was it, his lips crushed down on mine. I could have told him to slow down, to stop, but I did not want him to. I had not planned it, we had not meant to. I never had sex with a guy this soon, but it felt so right, he was sweet, and so gentle. We moved to the bedroom, thankful for changing the sheets. He kissed me, before pleasuring me in more ways than I ever dreamed about.

We laid there for an hour, entwined. We seemed to fit together so perfectly. I wanted to allow him to stay, but he left an hour later. I kissed him goodbye, a dressing gown wrapped around my naked body.

He had told me he too never planned to let it go that far. I kissed him again and told him, me too.

He had been gone five minutes, when I heard hammering on the door, I had the biggest smile, Ben was back. I could happily have him back in my bed again. Just the thought of his lips on mine, had me shuddering. I had not had time to put a nightdress on, and was thankful as I knew it was soon be removed.

I opened the door, a hand pushed me hard against the wall. His hands fumbling with my dressing gown, as he slammed the door shut with his foot. 
In a heartbeat
 © 2015
S.J.Hitchcock

0 Comments

In a heartbeat: Part three:

10/3/2015

0 Comments

 
He drove me to my car and kissed me one more time, promising me he would call me. I watched him drive away, before knocking on the door and checking in on Natalie, and to let her know I was picking up my car.

“Who was that guy that dropped you off?”

“Ben.”

“The paramedic?”

“Yes, the paramedic. And before you ask, he asked me out, and I said yes.”

“You are?”

“Yes, I am.”

“You like him don’t you.”

“I don’t know how I feel about him, yet. We’ve only just met.”

“Julie, I can see it in your eyes and besides I saw that kiss you shared.”

“Natalie.”

“Oh come on, he parked outside my window, I couldn’t help but see.”

“Okay, so I like him.”

“Good, about time you found a decent guy.”

“Yeah, and he may have helped me get rid of Richard.”

“Oh, bloody hell, he isn’t still sniffing around is he?”

“Yes, he was after me today, trying to get me to go out with him, again.”

“And how did Ben help?”

“He showed up just in time to meet me for coffee.” I saw the look of confusion in her eyes. “He gave me his number, and we ended up arranging to meet up for coffee. So we did, but Richard caught me off guard asking me out again, and then I kinda told him, Ben was my boyfriend.”

“You didn’t?”

I nodded.

“Wow, how did that go down?”

“Well, let’s just say, when Richard went by again, I guess he was spying on us, Ben kissed me.”

“And how was that?”

“It was amazing, and the second kiss he planted on me outside was even better. He is just perfect.”

“Careful there, Julie, for someone who didn’t want to settle down, you sound a lot like someone in love.”

“Oh shut up,” I giggled as I placed a kiss on her head, and told her I was going now if she was going to be mean to me.

She told me to go, that she was tired anyway. I promised I would pop in another day to see her and Lewis.

 

I drove home, locked my door, fed the cat and took a long hot shower. It had been a long day. I would not have believed that I had found a man to take me on a date, at work. I had seen my fair share of paramedics, and none of them compared to Ben. The ones I had met were older, were the younger ones hiding, or had I just not seen them.

The thought of Ben playing along when Richard was about made me smile. Richard would not take no as answer, maybe he would now.

A date, I could not wait to go out with Ben, my thoughts were interrupted as Jessie rubbed her soft wet nose against my ankle.

“Is your bowl empty?” I asked her. She looked up at me, as if she understood and went to her bowl, and indeed it was empty of biscuits. Had I forgotten to fill it when I left the house that morning? I was in a rush, but it was unlike me to forget to feed her. I filled her bowl, and then fixed myself something to eat, I was suddenly hungry. I placed a pie and some chips in the oven, wishing it would hurry up and cook.

Eating alone, as I often did, sharing the meat with Jessie. She would curl up beside me and wait as I dug in.

 

The next morning, I woke up early, Jessie lay in one of her usual spots, curled up by my feet. She often woke me by walking up my body and would stop at my face, placing her paw on my chin. Telling me she wanted her breakfast.

Yawning, I padded down the hall and opened the fridge. I spoiled her I knew that. I added a little condensed milk to her bowl.

She rubbed her head against my leg as a thank you, while I added meat and biscuits to her other bowls. I then  made myself a mug of coffee and sat curled up on the sofa, I had an hour and a half before I needed to leave for work, when I remembered today I was off, I was on holiday. I had three days off; I had booked them to visit Natalie after the birth of Lewis.

Although I had had a shower the night before, I filled the bath and laid in the hot water for over an hour, my mind drifted to Ben, hot gorgeous Ben. I then dressed and rang Natalie. She apologised and said she had his family coming over and that if I could come over tomorrow. I did not mind. It meant I could do whatever I wanted; I could have a duvet day. I had not had one of those for years. Curled up on the sofa in my duvet, pigging out on goodies while watching movies. Just then my mobile vibrated, I saw that I had a message and could not believe who it was from.

Ben: I don’t know about you, but I have a spare hour or two, and wondered if you were free.

I stared at my phone, I could not believe he had contacted me again, so soon. Did he like me, as much as I liked him. I stared at the phone for a few minutes, and before I could change my mind, I typed out my message.

Me: As it happens, I have today off, and I am free.

Ben: Good, I’ll pick you and we can go out for the day.

Me: I thought you had an hour or two to spare.

Ben: I did not like to say I have the whole day off too, and scare you off.

Me: What do you suppose we do all day?

Ben: Well, as far as I am concerned, we should get as far away from the hospital as possible.

Me: because of Richard, or??

Ben: Not really, but we need a break from that place.

Me: I could not agree more. So where would you like us to go?

Ben: How about we take the train down to the beach.

Me: we could drive you know??

Ben: Where is the fun in that, besides, I wouldn’t be able to stare at you all the way there, and if I did we would end up in A & E.

Me: Now when you put it that way, the train sounds good to me. Should I meet you at the station?

Ben: Sure, say ten.

Me: Ten it is. See you soon.

Ben: See you soon..:-D

I had less than twenty minutes to get there, but it would not take long if I drove. I changed into more suitable clothing, boots, and applied make-up and put my hair up. Happy with my appearance, I drove down to the station and parked my car. I was seconds away from seeing him again, and spending a whole day with him. I felt like a teenager, who had met her first crush.

He stood outside, looking nervous, and sexy at the same time, he looked rather dashing in jeans, and did I check out his bum in jeans, of course I did. I stood for a minute or two admiring him. I did not want to get caught staring at him, and made my way over to him, his face lit up as I approached, maybe he was worried I would not turn up. Something about me, he would learn, when I said I would do something, I did it.

“You made it,” he said, leaning in to kiss me, but instead pecked me on the cheek.

“Of course, shall we go?” I said, eager to start our day out. My first date in a very long time.

The train ride there, only last half an hour, but we chatted as if we had known each other forever. I discovered he was one of four, he had two brothers and a sister, he was the youngest, and he had lived at home until a year ago. I wondered for a moment how old he was, he looked about my age, was he younger, did it matter?

I dared not ask, he asked about my family, about my life, he sounded generally interested. Did I want to bore him with my life story, tell him that at ten I was sent to live with my father, a man I had only met once, because my mother decided that she no longer could take care of me. Of course, at the time I hated her for abandoning, but by the time I was sixteen I knew she had done it for all the right reasons.

I saw her once a month in the beginning, but over the years, those visits ended up being once every three months, and then once every six months, to a year, to then nothing at all. I knew she was not doing it to hurt me, she didn’t know me, and was not the kind of person who was actually maternal. I worried that I had inherited that, until I found my love of babies. Bringing them into the world, was one thing, but having my own, was a whole other thing.

The train came to an abrupt stop, thrusting me forward, I must have zoned out as I felt his arm being thrust across my chest. Had I almost fallen out of my seat, I had no idea.

“You okay?”

“Sorry, I am, I didn’t realise the train had stopped.”

“Shall we?” he said, taking my hand as we exited the train and stood on the platform. It was very similar to the one we had started on, but bigger.

We walked out the double doors and made our way along the path that led to the beach. There was small town too, where we decided to eat before walking towards the beach. The sun was shining and the tide was in, Ben insisted we wait as he wanted to walk along the beach.

We walked towards a small café, and found a table, the staff wore white aprons, we ate crumpets and shared a pot of tea.

After the food, we made our way to the beach, we walked along the sand, his hand in mine. I scanned the beach, a habit I had. I saw Ben do the same. As we walked I felt eyes on me, but then again there were loads of people on the beach. Ben bent down and whispered in my ear.

He had to be kidding?

In a heartbeat
 © 2015
S.J.Hitchcock


0 Comments

    Author

    Writes YA, New Adult and Adult romance. Has 4 children, 3 dogs, 2 cats and a partner who has to put up with her sat at the computer for hours on end.

    Archives

    December 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    March 2019
    December 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    March 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014

    RSS Feed

    Categories

    All
    Adult
    Authors
    Charity
    Diet
    Editing
    Exercise
    Hobbies
    Karabeth Publishing
    Love
    NaWriMo
    New Adult
    Publishers
    Readers
    Reviews
    Romance
    Software
    Writing
    YA

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.