I plan to write more soon, now I have my machine back, once I have uploaded all I need on it, again.
I know you may all think i have the worst luck. You are right, my second hand laptop hard drive burned out. So had to get that replaced, thankfully my old laptop that's mother board went, the hard drive was able to be placed into this machine. Fingers crossed all is well with it.
I plan to write more soon, now I have my machine back, once I have uploaded all I need on it, again.
While i had no laptop, I have been busy crafting, one of my recent makes.
This is the final part of this story - Enjoy.......
"Push," the midwife said, while holding one of my legs in a position I will never want to have again. This was neither what I wanted or planned, it had to be the most undignified thing ever and Ben wanted to film our firstborn coming into the world. He had to be kidding, no way in the world was I having more people down that end than was needed. I already had two midwifes, a doctor and a trainee, who they never asked if it was okay, they seemed to be explaining everything that was happening, like she could not see it, I could see it, a mirror they said, that would be a good idea, most new mums want to see their child being pushed into the world. I did not need to see it, I could damn well feel it and it hurt like hell. Imaging trying to pass a grape, all very well, one can do that, but a melon, no one said I would have to push something the sixe of a watermelon out of my womanly area. No, and pain relief, well that would have been nice had I been offered more than I was given. The gas and air, they kept trying to take it away, I held on for dear life, this was my only thing that was stopping me from screaming blue murder, and Ben telling him I would do with his idea of making a baby.
Another push they said, and it would be out, it as we had no idea, the babies would not let us see, and yes I not only had to push one out, I had to push two, double the pain, double the size. They were all nodding and staring down there.
"Oh lot's of hair," she said.
I just wanted it out, I didn't care if it had hair or not, get this damn thing out f my body before I grab hold of it myself and yank it out. I took one deep breath and bore down, as instructed, the moment its tiny body slid from mine, did feel the most relief I have ever felt. It did not last long, five minutes before the who thing was repeated and another little boy was born. Twin boys, we were parents again, to two little boys, I was a little relived, I never wanted Amy to feel pushed out had they been girls, but she spent many hours talking to my tummy, they moved to her voice, she was growing fast herself, so much had happened since we got married, and now we were complete.
We knew my mothers house was not going to fit us all, it was small, Amy and the twins needed their own rooms in time, Ben insisted that we kept the house that was my mothers, rented it out, I could not part with it, it was true.
Ben and I picked out a few houses, many were not were I expected when we looked at them, but the third one, we fell in ,love with, it had the garden, and enough rooms for the kids to have one each, an office, a room for me, to do what I had no idea yet, and a playroom. It was perfect, and best of all, Rihanna lived on the next street, it was perfect. We moved in six weeks before the twins were due, cutting it close, but we were ready for them, the house was decorated from top to bottom, by friends and family.
Rihanna had another little girl six months before I was due, we had tried to get pregnant so they would not be to far apart, but as usual life never went to plan. Now they were here, two boys weighing in at five pounds and half each. They were perfect, ten fingers, ten toes, and adorable noses, names were chosen with the help of Amy, whens he came to visit, she sat on the bed and said they were her bothers, Jamie and Henry. We kept Jamie, but were not sure on the Henry, later we decided on Jenson, Amy loved it and kissed the boys on the top of their heads. Life was perfect, we were a proper little family. Ben sat holding one of the boys, while Amy sat with me holding the other, I just hoped I could tell them apart. That looked identical.
Three days later we took the boys home, Amy helped take care of them, on the days she was not at Nursery, she told her teachers all about her brothers and how she helped her mummy and daddy take care of them. The first day she arrived home after we brought them home, she had drawn a picture, there were circles with lines, one for each of us, the teacher had written on the bottom 'My family'.
Holding the baby
The moment we entered the house, I felt a sudden relief. Ben had not left our side; he stayed the first night we arrived home. He ordered in food, slept on the sofa, as Amy refused to sleep in her bed.
The days that followed, Amy followed me everywhere I went. She stopped talking; she would not allow anyone near her, but me. We brought her best friend around to play, she screamed, they had to leave. We would have to take it one day at a time. It seemed she was okay with Ben unless he tried to help take care of her. We tried leaving the house that resulted in screaming fits. Days turned into weeks, and we never left the house. The whole thing had scarred her for life. It would take months to undo what her mother did to her. Snatching her from her bed.
Ben never left our sides, and it made sense if he moved in. I could not leave the house, but we needed food, we needed to move forward. Thankfully, Ben took care of us.
Ben began by sleeping on the sofa, but after a few weeks, he moved into my room, waiting until she was asleep, we moved a bed for her in next to us, starting with her asleep in our bed, and then moving her to hers. The first few nights she would be back in our bed after a few hours, this went on for weeks, until it was only the next morning. It would all take time.
Amy slowly allowed me to leave a room, but leaving the house was still going to take time. We could not even enter the back garden.
Six weeks later, Ben arrived home, closed the door and locked it. He found us in the kitchen baking cakes, Amy loved to help. She stirred the mixture and licked the bowls and spoons after we were done. As he entered the kitchen, she took one look at Ben and ran to him; she had accepted that he was part of our family. We would not get back to where we in a hurry, we would take each day at a time, and each step towards building up her trust. She had still not spoken a word. In time I hoped that it would return.
Ben had asked me once again to marry him, but I told him, he needed to ask me when the time was right. He looked at me, cake mixture on my chin, and no make-up on. Amy had mixture in her hair and all around her face. She had put the bowl to her face and licked the bottom. She had smiled for the first time in weeks. She was dragging him towards me, very pleased with her baking skills, only a few had been iced, before she had placed her hand in and licked it clean.
"I think it’s time," he said.
"Yes," he said, turning to the drawer behind him, he moved a few items and pulled out a ring box, which he opened and asked me once again to marry him.
I looked at Amy, she had accepted him, the time was indeed right. I nodded. He scooped up Amy and carried over to me, we were going to be okay, we were going to be a family. Amy would one day have a baby brother or sister, but first we had to plan a wedding. Amy looked at me then at Ben and smiled.
"Baby?" I said, she said baby, this was the best day ever.
She nodded. We had talked a lot, Ben and I about our future, about having a baby was one of them. Had she taken it all in, she understood.
"Yes Amy, we will have a baby, but not yet. Big party first, you can wear a pretty dress, does that sound like fun."
"A big party? Are referring to our wedding as a big party!"
"Ben, it’s so much more than that, but yes , it is like a big party, and as long as you are there and Amy and I are there, isn't that all that matters."
"Yes, but our wedding night?"
"We will worry about that nearer the time, I am sure we can arrange something. She is doing better, she has accepted you. Maybe in time she will be able to be left overnight with Rihanna."
"I hope so, we may want to practice this baby making thing."
"It's not like we can while she is still sleeping in our room. I am not saying we have to rush that either. I am prepared to wait, but we can't make babies without doing it."
"I know, let’s just take it one step at a time."
"Okay, now where is my cake?"
It took a whole year for Amy to left with another person that was not us, she loved Rihanna, and the fact she would be family, we had to try allowing her to sleep over before the honeymoon. No point jetting off and Amy not settle with them. I would never be able to forgive myself.
The night arrived, Amy and I packed her things, we had progressed so much in the year that had followed Ben’s proposal. We went shopping, to the park, and even tried a toddler group. We went shopping; she picked her own suitcase, a ladybird one with wheels. She helped pack and was ready to go. Next step was to be able to leave her; we knew it would not happen the first time, so we planned to go for a meal, but just in case she was happy to stay, we took her suitcase.
The first time, we managed our starters. The second attempt two courses, the third time we were able to go for a meal and a movie, but come bed time it was a different story. The fifth time, we were prepared for the call, but it never came. We were waiting for it all night, and although we were alone and could, we never did. Sleep took us, as we were both on alert for the phone call.
Rihanna helped me get ready; it was just me from my side of the family, me and Amy. We were not having anything fancy, the party after was so much more. His father was going to give me away, it was not traditional, but we were far from a traditional family.
The adoption was finalised and his parents were beginning to be let in by Amy. I sat in the chair, in a white towelling dressing gown, my hair made up, my face plastered with make-up. I was not one to wear much, so it looked a lot, it was not to others. Amy wore a little pink dress, with a bow and short sleeves; we gave her a little basket with flowers in to carry. Grace wore a matching dress, the two looked adorable. Now they were cousins, and spent a lot of time to together. Rihanna admired the dress that hung up on the back of the door.
"So tonight is the night. Finally, you and my brother."
"I know, and don't say it like that, it makes it sound weird," I said.
"It isn't, because in a few hours you will be my sister-in-law."
"Family, you were already, but this seals the deal, Olivia. I always saw you as a sister, now you are going to be."
She hugged me tight, and stood back, wiping tears from down her cheeks, if she did not stop, I would start too.
"Now get this on so you two can get married, and start making babies, right girls?"
"Babies," the girls said together.
"You only want me to hurry up and catch up to this one," I said patting her tummy.
"Shush, I only told you because I’m not drinking, no one knows yet."
I smiled, it would be nice to be pregnant together, but first I had to marry Ben and allow him to whisk me away on the honeymoon, where, I had no idea. Just me and him for a week. A whole week, it would be okay, Rihanna assured me. I knew she would take care of Amy; she loved her as much as we did. Maybe we would be one of the lucky ones to get pregnant first time, but I knew Ben would enjoy trying. I was yet to discover about it all and it scared and excited me all at the same time.
Holding the baby
I didn't want to think about anything else until I had Amy in my arms and we were on the plane flying home. She would be here any minute I was told as we sat in the hotel. I say sat, I was pacing the floor, Ben was sat on the bed watching me. It was to late to fly back tonight, we would fly back in the morning. I wanted to be back home as soon as I could.
The double doors were all that stood between me and Amy being reunited. We were pushed inside, and into a side room. Hushed voices, Ben knew what they were saying, I could read it on his face. He did not have to say anything, I knew something bad had happened, Amy what happened where was she?
"Ben, tell me?"
"There is nothing to tell you."
"Ben, what is going on, where is Amy?"
"They have your sister and her husband, they had Amy, that is all I heard."
"Had, had, what do you mean had?"
"I didn't hear anything else they said."
He shook his head, pulling me into those arms and wrapped those strong arms around me. I could hear his heart beating against my ear. He was not telling me everything, I knew why, she was either gone, again, or worse she was dead. I couldn't think like that, she was alive, I would know it, I would know if she was dead.
There was so much commotion as officers dashed past the room we were in. shouting and screaming, I understood nothing that was going on. Ben was still holding me, until the door flung open, and my sister crashed into the room, she lunged towards us, screaming.
"You did this, you took my little girl, turned her against me, had me arrested for taking what is mine, you did this."
"No, Mary you did it, she may be your flesh and blood but you went about it all wrong. I was willing to try and you, you wanted it all now, she is not something you can take, and throw away like you did when she was born."
"They let me go you know, they can't arrest me, for taking her, she is my daughter, but you screwed it all up, telling them she was not mine take."
"No the courts said that, my lawyer said that."
"The one whose arms you are in, why don't you make your own damn babies, oh but wait, you need to allow him in your pants first."
"Shut up, Mary." How could she tell him I was a virgin. I hated her more for that.
"No, I will get my daughter back, you wait and see, not today, or this year, but soon."
"Actually, you won't, you signed legal documents to say you are giving up the rights to her," her husband said as he stood in the doorway. He looked apologetic.
"Yes, I advised she did this, I am sorry, I truly believed my wife when she said you gave her up. I didn't know she had someone take her that night."
"You were not driving the car?"
"No, I was making the arrangements for us to fly home."
"Amy is safe, she is with my mother, she will be bringing her back today, Mary and I will not be returning to the UK, Mary has had her passport taken. I cannot apologise enough."
Mary huffed out of the room, her eyes on me, glaring. She did this, she brought it all on herself.
"I wondered and I know this is a lot to ask, Mary does love Amy and I know she and I both would like to have some contact, by social media or sending pictures, so we can tell our children they have an older sibling."
"We can do that," Ben said, "but we will contact you when we are ready."
"Fair enough, I am getting Mary help, I think her hormones are the problem here, she is three months pregnant and I think she realises what she did with Amy. She was trying to fix the mess she made. She just went about it all wrong. I should have done more, helped her, just know that she will get all the help she needs and that she won't walk out on our child."
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"Olivia, she lost one child to you, she was scared you would take this one too."
"I never took her, she left her."
"I know, she knows that, but that is how she felt, maybe one day you can forgive her."
"One day, maybe."
With those words he was gone. The door closed and now all we could do was wait, wait for Amy to be brought to us.
"Yes, its true okay."
"I was not going to ask about that, and do you think that would matter to me?"
"No, I guess not."
"Good, because look," he said, indicating to the door, I had not heard the door open, or the person stood there, with Amy, she was at my feet before I could even open my arms. We were crying, she held me tight. Her arms wrapped around my neck, her cheek against mine. Her tears falling and mingling with mine. She looked different, her hair was shorter, her skin dull. It had only been a few days, she did not look like the little that I had put to bed the other night.
"I am never letting you out of my sight again, Amy, never."
We left the station an hour later, Ben dealt with the paperwork, I simply signed it. The whole time, Amy clung to me, her arms still around my neck, her legs wrapped around my waist. She was not letting me go either. She was whimpering, but no tears fell.
We arrived at the hotel, I attempted to settle her, she sat on my lap the whole journey, I could not remove her from my body, for one journey I allowed it. I knew it was not safe, but we were minutes away from the hotel.
In the room, I lay on the bed, she lay beside me, still clung to me, sleep finally took her, but as soon as I tried to remove her arms and legs, did she wake and the whole thing started again. I was desperate for the toilet. I would have to go soon.
I attempted once again to remove her from my body. Ben was sat on the chair watching us.
"I need to pee, really badly."
"I can take her!"
"You can try."
"Okay," he said.
He lay behind me, so close that I didn't want to move.
"This may not work, I have to slide out, somehow."
"I know, didn't think me laying there was a good idea, just slide down and be quick."
Slide down and be quick he said, that was a laugh. I could feel his whole body behind me, and as I attempted to, she clung tighter, I did my best to slide her arms from my body. The only way was to do it fast. I slid down, sliding off the end of the bed, thumping to the floor. She was in a deeper sleep, she did not seem to notice I had moved. Ben did not move a muscle while I was gone. I had never peed that quickly before.
I laid on the bed, the opposite side of her, she seemed to sense me and turned to face me. Huddling up to me once again. Tomorrow, we would be home, and back in our own house. Ben had said he wanted to marry me, thoughts of Ben and Amy , us as a family swam around my head. A family is all Amy needed, a mum, dad and that was us. He had his eyes closed, I allowed sleep to take me. Slipping into a dream state.
Holding the baby
I did not move the whole time she was gone, it seemed to last for days, I had no urge to eat, drink or sleep, but Ben forced me to those things. Telling me I needed to be ready for when she returned. Three days, three whole days and there was no sightings of her. This could not continue, there were cases of children being taken and sold, these thoughts ran through my head. Thoughts of where she could be, what they had told her about me, those thoughts kept my eyes open, my head foggy and my heart broken. It would not stop hurting until I heard the news I wanted, needed to hear.
The doorbell rang, every time it had in the past three days I had jumped up and raced to the door, hoping that they had found her, and they were bringing her home, each time it was nothing more than an update. Now when it rang I did not move, did not flinch. Ben squeezed my leg, this time it was different, the man was an officer I had not seen before. He was talking, telling me something I did not understand, Amy was gone, they had found her, but they were to late, she was gone.
Gone where, dead, I could not believe it. How, I needed to know.
"No Olivia, she is not dead, they were seen boarding a plane to Spain, we need to go there, pack, we are going to get her, the police are going to arrest your sister and her husband the moment they land."
"And we can take Amy home?"
"Yes, we can take her home!"
I hugged him, tears, happy tears falling down my cheeks. I kissed him and thanked him, before racing up the stairs to pack. Ben was behind me, he closed the door, and kissed me again. It still was the not the right time for this, but I allowed him to kiss me, allowed him to run his hand down my back and squeeze my bottom. He released me.
"Sorry, we need to get you packed, we are on the next flight out."
"Ben, what about your clothes."
"Rihanna is bringing all I need. Don't worry, we are getting her back."
"And when we get back, you and are going on that date, because you know that one day we are getting married."
"Are you asking me to marry you?"
"I am telling you that I love you and have since the day I met you."
"Ben," I said, my voice failing me.
"You don't have to answer, and I know it’s a lot to take in, you like me, right?"
"Ben, I do."
"Good, that is a start, and if one day you decide you love me as much as I love you, we will get married, and give Amy a little baby sister or brother. We will be a proper family, of course I will adopt Amy too. Once we are married."
"You would do that?"
"Yes, of course I would."
This was like a nightmare and the best dream ever. This man before me wanted to marry me, me Olivia, and he wanted to be a family, adding siblings to the family. I would wake any minute and this would all crumble around me, it was all to good to be true. Once we got Amy, he would run a mile, I was sure of it. He was saying the words he wanted me to hear, to get me through this. I allowed him to do it, I needed the support, I needed the feeling that he loved me. He was right, sadly I did love him, but did he love me for real? I knew my sister would ruin this somehow, like she did everything else.
I packed, tossed my passport and Amy's in a bag, I packed all her favourite things, I needed so little, but I wanted her to have the things that were familiar to her.
The drive to airport was silent, we boarded a plane, a small plane, not a standard plane. Whose plane was this? I had no time to ask, no time to really care, all I wanted to do was get Amy, my worse fears would be that by the time we got there they had gone, again, and where no where to be found. My heart was breaking with every minute we were in the air.
I still could not eat, or drink, but forced them down, it was like my throat was filled with barbed wire. It was hard to breathe, until the voice over the tanoy told us we were almost there, and that we should buckle up. I did as instructed. I her bear in my hand, she would want it, we brought it for her when she turned six months and she loved it.
The plane landed, the wheels screeched along the tarmac, the scene below, was something out of a movie, police vehicles were waiting for us. Were we going to be arrested, had this been a ploy to get us, not them.
Ben held my hand, reassuring me. This was it, we were getting Amy, or they were going to toss us in jail, either way I would not go down without a fight.
We stood on the steps of the plane, the heat of the air hit me fully in the face, it was a heat I could get used to, but now was not the time to think like that. Even the thought of a honeymoon here would have been nice, but now it would tainted.
"These men are here to escort us to the police station."
"Are we under arrest?"
"Olivia, of course not, they want us to get there quickly, Amy has been through enough."
He was right, she had, I could and would not want to imagine what was going through that the little girls mind. My mother if she had been here would be ashamed of her daughter. But I would make her proud.
The ride took an hour, another hour of silence, the lights on and the officer babbling in Spanish, I had no clue what he was saying. Ben told me they were just confirming we were on route, he spoke Spanish?
"I speak, German, Italian and Polish."
"You amaze me," I said, I was learning all these new things about this man. He was staring at me, I could see myself happily nuzzling into his arms every night for the rest of my life. He was the man I wanted to marry, if he was serious.
"Ben, were you serious about what you said before?"
"I never joke, Olivia."
"Oh I have a sense of humour, but I am not someone that says things like that, unless I mean it."
"Okay, I am not promising anything, but we can take it one day at a time, once we get home and I settle Amy back into a routine, I just don't knowhow long that will be."
"I told you I will wait."
The car stopped, the door opened, ending our conversation and my thoughts of him ended the moment my feet were on the steps.
Holding the baby
It took two hours before I could settle her in her own bed. She clung to me until sleep finally took over, her body still heaving with the sobs that racked her whole body. She would not eat, and refused to leave my side. Ben was still downstairs; he said he would not leave until he knew I had settled her. He was waiting for me in the living room, a mug of steaming tea sat on the table. The sugar bowl beside it, he had no idea if I took it or not, he said as I sat on the sofa beside him. I was exhausted. I wanted to sleep, but my thoughts were racing. It felt right when he held me in his arms, even when lips found mine. So this was how my first kiss was going to go, crying, great, just a memory I wanted. I pulled away, it was not that I did not want the kiss; it was just not the right time. He apologised, he had not meant to allow himself to do that. I tried to assure him it was not like that, but before I could utter a word, he was gone. I had not thought I had any tears left, but when I heard the door slam shut, the tears began again. I curled up on the sofa, rocking myself to sleep. For the first time in months I wished she was here with me, mum would have known what to do. I cried for my loss, for the loss I knew was coming, how could I win this battle?
I awoke to banging on the door, then screaming from outside. I knew it was her; she was here at the house, demanding I hand her daughter over. Amy slept through it, I knew if she woke, she would not settle again for hours. My sister had no right to come here and demand anything.
I opened the window, and told her to go away.
"You would like that wouldn't you, I want my daughter."
"Mary, go away, you will wake her. Just leave, and don't come back here, you are not welcome here."
"What are you going to do, call the police, or Ben, or is he in there. I know he is, that’s how you are doing it isn't it?"
"Keeping her away from me."
"No, you did that when you walked away and never looked back, you, not me, not Ben. And just so you know, Ben is not here. He is just my lawyer, and if you don't leave I will call the police." I closed the window, waiting for more abuse to be hurled at me. When all I heard was silence, I sighed and climbed the stairs, checking on Amy. She was gone. Her cot was empty. She had never climbed out before, my heart raced, my mouth dry, she had to be here. Where was she?
I searched the house, reaching the kitchen I saw the door ajar, it was then I knew why she had caused the scene, why she went silent. She had entered the house, and stolen her daughter from her bed. While she was asleep, in the middle of the night, she had taken her. I ran into the empty street, and saw one single car drive at speed down the road. I screamed her name, falling to my knees. How could she do that to her?
I don't know how I got back inside on the sofa with a blanket, but when I opened my eyes through salty tears I saw Ben. He sat at the end of the sofa.
"They won't get far. When we get Amy back, and we will. This has ended any chances she had of getting her daughter back. They were slim before."
"She just took her, how did she get in?"
"Mary used to live here; she most likely still had a key."
"I should have changed the locks."
"Maybe, but don’t worry about that now, besides I have arranged for that to happen, but let’s get her back first. The police need to talk to you."
The questions went on for hours, why all the questions, I wanted to scream just get out there and find her. They were staring at me, nodding. I saw one lady look at me, I knew her from school, she knew Amy was not my child, I could see her judging me for keeping her from her mother. I had every right to, look at what she did, where was she all the time she was gone. I had no clue.
"Don't think I don't know what you are thinking, Melanie Greene."
"So you remember me then?"
"Of course I do, you knew my sister as well as I did, and before you look at me with those looks. Did you know that she walked out just when Amy was four weeks old?"
"No, I didn't know that."
"Did you know she didn't even come back when our mum was dying, or at all. Not even a phone call or any contact at all. She could have been dead for all we knew."
"I’m sorry; I just would never would have thought she of all people would do something like this."
"Right, but you must know what Mary wants she gets. She always has."
"Yeah, I guess. I hoped she had grown up, when I heard she was pregnant, I thought she would be a good mum."
"Yeah, well it was good when she was getting the attention, the moment that went, which was a few weeks after Amy was born, so did she."
"I am sorry."
"Don't be, just find Amy and bring her home."
Ben held my hand. "I am going to be by your side until we find her." He smiled. "And what I said earlier...I…"
"Your timing was off Ben, that's all, the time was just not right, and even now I don't know when it will be."
"I can wait; Amy is what is important right now."
"She is, and that is all I can focus on right now.So please you get out there and find my daughter."
She nodded, and left the room, I wanted to be out there searching for her, she should be here with me. I could not think about how scared she was. My sister was dead to me; I wanted nothing to do with her. When I got Amy back, I planned to adopt her, if my sister would allow it, if it was the last thing I did. Our mother would want that, I wanted that, Amy wanted that.
Holding the baby
The meeting went okay, I sat there across the room from my sister, turned out she was already expecting and they had decided to take Amy back to Spain with them, to start life as a family. Her husband wanted to adopt her. The look on their faces when I suggested they move here, near where I was so they could see her when they wanted. It was the best solution all around. I told her mum would have wanted that, she snorted, telling me I got the house, I was not entitled to her child too.
I understood the want and need to be her mother, I had taken care of her and been her mother. I may not have given birth to her, but she was in all sense my child. We had bonded. It was not what I wanted to do, keep a child from her mother, but she choose to leave, what if she did it again. Who suffers, not her, Amy would, it was not fair to do that. And she did not know her. Which was not my fault.
Ben talked and she listened. She had rights, but she had also signed her daughter over to me, we had to do this the right way. It was not what I wanted to hear. We had to do what was best for Amy, I agreed on that.
We made arrangements for Mary to spend an hour with her at a centre, I was not allowed to attend, or was her husband, it was to see if they had a bond, I had no idea what to expect. The meeting at the centre was for two days time. I would take her there and leave, I was not sure I could do it. My heart raced at the thought. Ben walked me out, and took my hand, telling me it would be okay, she would be watched the whole time. I thanked him and removed my hand from his, not that it was not nice, but he was my lawyer.
"Sorry, after all this is over, I am taking you out."
"When we win, I am taking you and Amy out for the day."
"Do you do that for all your clients in this situation?"
"Olivia, come on, you know I like you, but until this is over, I have to keep my personal feelings under wraps."
"You are doing a very good job of that," I said, and shook my head. Rihanna was right, her brother did like me, but did I like him? He was good looking, from what I could tell he had a six pack under that tight shirt and I could see a small amount of hair on his chest. I was not sure how I felt about a hairy chest. I shuddered.
"Are you cold, lets grab a coffee and get you back to Amy."
I nodded, and pretended that it was feeling cold the thought of his bare chest. Or running my hands along it, I had to stop myself. I had not thought like that about a guy for a long time, he was staring at me, as we climbed into his car.
The coffee tasted bitter, but I hardly noticed as we chatted, about everything, but Amy and my sister. Once we drank the coffee we made our way to Rihanna's house. Amy ran towards me, arms up. She hugged me, we were rarely apart.
"Missed you my little Angel," I said, hugging her. How could I let her go, if my sister won, I would fall apart and nothing would make me feel alive again.
"You don't have anything to worry about, Olivia, Mary won't get her back."
"She is her mother, I know that she will, I just need time to prepare myself and Amy."
"No, don't think like that, Olivia, I mean it," Ben said sternly.
I nodded, I would try, but I knew my sister, once she put her mind to something she usually won. I would fight her, but her being the birth mother, that was all she needed to say.
The next morning, Ben drove us to the centre, we were ushered into a small room, where Ben talked to me and another lady entered. She sat with Amy, who immediately ran to me and hugged my leg.
"We have to take her now, she needs to come with me, and spend time with her mum."
"Mummy," Amy squealed holding on tighter. To her, I was her mum. The tears I had held back, fell, I quickly wiped them away, she did not need to me cry. I had to be strong, choked back the tears and told her, to go with the lady, I would be here and see her soon.
That was it, she was gone, I could hear her crying all the way down the hall, it was then I broke down. I could not move, my heart was breaking into a thousand pieces. How would I cope if I lost her forever. I could not think about it. Ben held me. We were meant to leave, but there was no chance, once I heard her cries, they were still echoing against the walls. I told Ben I was not leaving. He sat me down, told me he would go check she was okay, the door opened, the cries were louder, she was screaming. I wanted to run to her, but knew I had to stay. For her sake I had to stay. If I wanted to keep her I had to stick to the rules. I did my best to hold myself together. The screaming grew louder, closer. Did she escape and was finding her way back to me. The door opened, and Ben entered, carrying Amy, she was sobbing and screaming uncontrollably. The moment she saw me, she flung herself at me, the sobbing unable to stop, I did my best to calm her. I sat with her, rubbing her back. The tears falling onto my back and creating spots where they landed.
Ben sat beside me.
"It didn't go well, Mary is kicking off, saying you have made her hate her."
"I would never do that."
"I know, but the moment the lady tried to hand her over, she screamed louder. I am sorry to say this is not the end of it. We have to try again, you need to settle her, we have to be seen as trying."
"I will try, but I can't keep doing this to her, look at her, she was scared. I did not do that, she has no idea who Mary is. It is not my fault she never came to visit us. She could have, she could have come to us when mum died, instead she chose to leave and move to Spain to get married."
"I know, and that does not look good, but she is still her mother, and we have to at least be seen as if we are trying."
What was this we, we as in partners, or my lawyer? I was scared, as much as Amy was, I did not want to lose her. I carried to her to the car, my sister was outside, her husband was holding her. She was crying, it had to be hard for her too, her own child scared of her. I felt bad for the whole situation, but I could not let myself think that way, she was either really upset, or a bloody good actress.
Holding the baby
I sat on the chair watching Amy put her arms out to me, calling me mum, while her birth mother, my sister sat opposite. The man she had married sat beside her, holding her hand. She told me they were starting a family and wanted Amy to be part of it. The look on her face when Amy called me mum. It was her own fault, I never once pretended to be her mum, but I took care of her as if she was my own.
My sister had to be kidding; she signed her over to me, could she even take her? I wanted to kick her out of my house, because it was, after all my house. She was smiling, staring at me like she used to when she won, but not this time. Her husband, not at all what I expected, he was shorter than my sister. He wore glasses and had a receding hair line. What was it that she loved or liked, did she actually love him? There was something in the way she looked at him that told me she did.
"Why now, Mary, why not when you were about to get married, you couldn't even come to say goodbye to mum."
"That is not fair."
"Fair, you want to talk about fair," my raised voice startled Amy. I stopped and sat her on my lap; she nuzzled in as she did when she was tired. "Can we do this another time, she needs her nap, and I have things to do. We can meet tomorrow at lunch time."
"I don't think you understand, we have come to take her with us, now."
"Mary, you cannot just come here and expect to take her."
"I am her mother, not you."
"That might be the case, but we went to court if you recall which gave me the legal rights to take care of her. If you want her, take me to court."
"I don't care what you say, I am taking her," Mary said, leaning towards me and attempted to grab her, Amy screamed.
"Don't, you’re scaring her."
"I am not."
"Maybe we should come back," her husband said, the first time he had opened his mouth since he walked into this house. He did not even look at me; he just took her hand, and walked her out of the house. Mary mumbling the whole time about the fact she would be back.
I carried Amy to the door, closed and locked it. I put her to bed and made a phone call.
The moment I put the phone down, I felt better, she could not just take her. If she wanted her, she had to take me to court, and even then she may not get her. I prayed for that.
Amy slept for two hours, in that time I would normally do chores, but due to my sister appearing and announcing what she wanted my mind was not on those tasks, instead on how to fight her, and I would fight her. I watched Amy from the doorway for the last hour she lay asleep.
Watching her little chest rise up and down, the way her bottom lip trembled in her sleep, and how she would often kick out a leg. It was cute, she did these less often now, but I would remember them forever.
The moment her eyes opened she called for me; she stood and put her arms out for me. She loved me as much as I loved her, I knew that I had to do what was best for her, but if she was given back to my sister, would she toss her away when she was bored again, or had she grown up. I had to know. I needed to know if things went the way she wanted that Amy was at the centre of her world, not a new baby she was planning to have. I would take Amy and meet my sister with my lawyer. Now I needed to shop and meet up with the other mums I knew from toddlers.
The play area was busy, we met there and walked into the town centre. I was silent, they knew something was up, and before we reached town I had told them the whole story.
I was grateful that the brother of Rhianna was a lawyer. I already had him in my phone for when mum was dying and he helped me sort things out. He had also become a friend. Nothing more, he never seemed interested and I was far too busy taking care of Amy. Besides I think he had a girlfriend, and I would never try it on with another woman’s man.
"I am so sorry, are you planning to speak to Ben, he can help you."
"I have, I am meeting him tomorrow, before I meet with my sister. He wants to be there for that."
"He should, but you do know my brother likes you don't you?"
"Rhianna, he does not, he has become a friend, but that’s it."
"Not true, he often asks after you, but he knows it’s complicated.”
“Yes, it is, besides he has a girlfriend."
"Yes, she was a whore."
"The girl is nasty piece of work, she only wanted him for him money and to get laid. She tried to say she was pregnant with his baby, but truth was she had no idea if he was the father or the other three men she had on the go were. The truth came out about six weeks before she was due."
"He must have been devastated!"
"No, I mean he wants to be a father, he would have been a good one, but he wanted out of that relationship. With her expecting his child, he was not about to leave her, then to find out he was one of four possible fathers, he ended it. Telling her that as soon as the child was born he wanted a DNA test done. If the child was his, he would take care of it, but he was not about to raise another man’s baby."
"Wow, and I thought I had it bad, you know he never said. Although I’m not really that close to him, for him to tell me.”
"I don't know, maybe he will, but if he is acting as your lawyer he may not cross that line. But we will see. We all know that you two are attracted to each other. Besides when was the last time you got any action?"
"The last time," I said. What would they say if they knew I was a twenty-one year old virgin? More than that, I had never even kissed a guy. There were times I came close, but something happened, that something was Mary. She would turn up and the kiss that was due to happen, didn't. The moment Mary left Amy in our care, I had no time to date, and any guy that saw me with a baby ran a mile.
"Oh come on, it's not been that long has it?"
Holding the baby